Quotes of the Day

“They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They’re not laughing now.”
~Bob Monkhouse

“I’m not saying my wife’s a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.”
~Bob Monkhouse

“Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.”

“The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.”
~Robert Frost

“Now your soul may belong to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Marine Corps.
~Full Metal Jacket

“Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories.”
~John Wilmot

“A girl phoned me the other day and said “Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home.”
~Rodney Dangerfield
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“Follow me,” the wise man said, but he walked behind…