I Suffer From NDS (Nervous Dad Syndrome)

BJ has had 7 stitches in his forehead, adenoid surgery and countless colds and doctor visits.  None of these experiences caused me to be nervous or overly worried.  This shouldn't be shocking to anyone who knows me.  I am usually the cool-cat in emergency situations.  Even during BJ's birth, I was coooooool as a cucumber (That's the story I'm telling and I'm sticking to it).  Nothing really phases me or makes me flinch. That was until last weekend.

BJ had his first karate test and I couldn't believe how this made me feel.  Since I had never taken karate before (I learned how to fight in the streets, where rules don't exist), I had no idea what to expect.  Early in the day, it dawned on me that I was concerned that he may fail.  I wasn't prepared to talk to a four year old about success or failure and this started to bother me.   I experienced general nervousness that included sweaty palms, agitation and a distant preoccupation throughout the day.  Unfortunately, my ego was getting in the way, and I now know, that I was tying BJ's success or failure to my own.  This is a ridiculous assumption I was making, but I knew that thousands of people do it each day.

Sometimes as parents we connect our children's accomplishments as correlations to our own lives; and this is wrong.  Once the karate test began, I came to realize that my nervousness quickly changed to pride.  He demonstrated his kicks, punches and stances just as good as all the other kids in the class.  Again, my lack of martial arts training wouldn't allow me to know the difference.  BJ did a fantastic job and received his yellow belt as a result.   I can't say that I won't become nervous for him in the future, but I will be mindful that his success or failure should be my focus and not mine…