Category — Fatherhood

I've been reading African American Dad's site for a few weeks and this post touched me. He talks about the mistakes he's made in his life and wonders how to keep his son from doing the same in the future.  I often worry about that for my boys. Am I doing the right thing? Do they need me to be strong or understanding? Am I giving them what they need? That seems to be the hardest part to me.  As a child I often claimed that my parents were always doing the wrong thing with me, but it wasn't until adulthood did I appreciate what they believed to be the right things.  

I came to the conclusion that I have to use my best judgment  and be myself.  I seem to make matters worse when I stray from my strengths.  Stop by AAD's site and take a look and see what you think.

I haven't been posting as much as I've liked so here is an update with what's been going on with us lately. 

Baby B (Baby Bacchus) turned 1

He's walking now and getting into everything

Baby B Got tubes in his ear

This was a nightmare for us.  He had gotten an ear infection that was resistant to antibiotics and was in constant pain.  

BJ Got Crabs

Not those kind….hermit crabs.  His aunt bought him three for x-mas and I knew that he wouldn't take care of them and after the fish incident, MB (Mommy Bacchus) refused to take on this maintenance responsibility. 

BJ Got a Nintendo DS Game

I upgraded the GameBoy to the DS game, and was pleased with how well BJ adapted. See my post about this purchase here .

Taught BJ how to play Checkers and now starting to teach him Chess 

A friend got me an oversized checker set from Cracker Barrel that you can lay on the floor and play.  Each piece is the size of a drink coaster and have enjoyed it.

Learned that the New Air-Conditioner we installed in the summer wasn't done right 

We had our evaporator coil and outside condenser replaced and was done by a friend of a friend and now have to pay to fix the poor job they did.  

Mommy Bacchus Lost 50+ pounds 

She looks fantastic and really HOT….I gotta get my butt to the gym and stop blogging so much.  

Me 

See upcoming posts….. 

I struggled with this decision for weeks before deciding to make the purchase.  BJ (Bacchus Junior) had a Gameboy for two years and at times he struggled with some of the games because he couldn't read many of the directions (BJ is 6) that would pop up during the game.  It didn't make sense to spend that kind of money for something he may not be able to play with, but while visiting a friends house during the Thanksgiving holiday I changed my mind. 

We stopped by a friends house who had invited us over the Thanksgiving desert (Everything was fantastic, I probably gained 5 pounds that evening).  BJ started playing with an older boy who is 12 and his PSP portable device. Although the older boy did a lot of explaining to BJ he was really having a blast and enjoyed it.  So the decision was made and the hunt began.  I searched many of the ads and talked to co-workers, and finally decided to visit Gamestop and see what packages they had.  I Was delighted to know that they had an exchange program if you bring in a used Gameboy you could get a new DS for only $99, plus 20% off two used games. This sold me on the purchase but I couldn't find any used games I thought he would like.  An added plus to the purchase was that he can use any of his Gameboy cartridges in the new DS device.  I purchased the Nintendo accessory pack and got new Mario and Pokemon cartridges to complete the purchase.  

Just before Christmas he mentioned several times that he hoped he would get a DS, and I was silently happy that I made the decision.  Christmas came and he was pleasantly surprised.  He has thoroughly enjoyed his new games and happy to use some of his old gameboy cartridges as well.  The only tricky part to this whole transaction was telling him that the Gameboy had to go to the shop for repair, and Santa couldn't fix it so he replaced it with a DS device.  So now what???

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Things I learned in Baby B's first month:

• The diaper champ is way better than the diaper genie
• I can sleep in afternoon meetings at work with my eyes completely open
• I can't stand Baby B's dirty diapers, I didn't have this problem with BJ (Bacchus Junior)
• I am a better organizer than MB (Mommy Bacchus)
• Baby B sleeps and eats better than BJ
• The second time around is always easier than the first
• I can officially say that I "Got Boys" to back me up
• Good thing I saved all of BJ's clothes
• That first smile makes all the sleepless nights worth all the pain getting out of bed in the morning….

Last Saturday morning BJ showed up next to my bed fully dressed at 6:30 a.m.

"Daddy are we going fishing today?"

With my eyes half open and my mind still dazed, I knew that this must really mean something to him. (although he did have his shorts on backwards.)  Since I promised to take him a week ago, he had the date memorized and locked in.  This was going to be our first time going "real" fishing.  

I had found memories of my dad taking me fishing and the things I loved the most was not the fishing, but the conversation and the food we would bring.  Dad was famous for his crab-cakes and he would get my step-mother or grand-mother to prepare fried chicken or sandwiches.  For dessert I could bring anything I could afford at the candy store the previous night and I usually spent my money on ding dongs, moon pies or red shoe-strings.

BJ and I packed the car and got to the proposed watering spot and spent most of the morning leaning how to cast.  We didn't catch anything (I didn't allow him to cast with a hook), but I enjoyed the time spent and look forward to the future lessons learned. 

Spending quality time with your children can be so fulfilling, and makes the world's problems fade away. 

What can I say?  BJ has been on his best behavior and on "Green" (See Behavior Codes) for several weeks now and just in time for him to start kindergarten next week.  Mommy Bacchus will be tearful, but I can't wait.  BJ is just another step closer to being a man…How exciting this is.

Last week I took off for vacation.  Usually we take a family trip, but decided to stay home and get some things done around the house. 

What I did on my Vacation
Got the AC maintenance done
Had locks re-keyed
Had maid service do deep clean of the house (I'd really let things go for a while)
Had plumber fix leak in upstairs bathroom
Had a screen door installed
Went to Sams
Went to Wal-Mart (BJ calls it Wally world)
Had Chinese food for lunch four times
Went to Ikea three times (Everyone has their addictions)
Got an oil change for my car
Got a manicure and pedicure (Yes, I'm comfortable in my manhood to get this done once a year)
Finished school supply shopping for BJ
Found out Mommy Bacchus is 4 mths pregnant (She's due in late Dec early Jan)
Went school clothes shopping for BJ (I'm all done. Everyone else has my leftovers to purchase during tax-free weekend)

Did a Day visit to Turner Falls, OK (Nice!!! Two co-workers recommended it)
Cleaned out old toys and took them to Goodwill
Started cleaning out the bedroom closets (I have been looking for my lucky house shirt for weeks, I think Mommy Bacchus has thrown it away)

Got caught up on "So you think you can dance" (My summer TV viewing guilty pleasure)
Bought a corner desk for our bedroom (Now that we have wireless internet, our formal dinning room table has become our downstairs office)

What I didn't do on my Vacation
Rest
Relax
Watch movies
Re-caulk bathroom

Anything remotely close to working……

Took BJ to church and then went to Target for a slurpee and popcorn.  BJ was ecstatic, I guess it doesn't get much better than this. I think I enjoyed is just as much as he did…..

Copyright 2006 Jason Briscoe

The other day I was bringing in groceries from the car and Bacchus Jr. (BJ) wanted to help. He likes showing me how strong he is by lifting the 2 liter bottles and putting them into the pantry.

BJ: “See my muscles daddy.”

Me: “Wow they are getting bigger, you must be eating your vegetables and drinking your milk.”

This goes back and forth for a few minutes until he’s done, but today was a little different. I had just dropped off some packages and started making my way back to the garage and while my back was turned I heard this.

BJ: “See my muscles daddy; I can open the refrigerator all by myself.”

Me: “That’s great BJ, you are really getting strong.”

As I continued into the garage, I envisioned a foggy dreamlike image of the future. I saw BJ at the age of 17 bent at the waist and staring endlessly looking into the refrigerator. He wasn’t moving anything, just staring into the frig as though the food would jump out at him. I was seeing this from a distance and the first thing that came to mind was something my father used to say to me.

Dad: “Close it, or lose it.”

In other words, stop letting all the cold air out or I’ll lose my foot up your @#$%^%&. Yes, I was turning into my dad. My thoughts were becoming my dad's thoughts and that’s ok.

I guess this is just one of the many things most dads go through, but extremely enlightening to me. So I gathered up my groceries from the car and came back into the kitchen and found BJ no where in sight but the scene below.

Now that BJ is strong enough to open the refrigerator, we need to work on him being smart enough to close it.

I'm a bad fresh fruit picker

After the fourth time of bringing home non-ripe/overripe fruit, Mommy Bacchus has banned me from ever bringing home fruit again.

7-Eleven Coffee

I have finally found fast food breakfast coffee I can enjoy.  Starbucks doesn't count because it takes me at least an hour to get out of there. If 7-Eleven only had a coffee drive-through, then that would be perfect

BBQ Ribs

I have finally become comfortable with my BBQ ribs recipe/cooking method.  I will share later in another post.

Father and Son Burping

I have learned that BJ has finally learned the technical aspects of burping just as loud and as obnoxious as his dad.  Please don't ask me how I know this; Mommy Bacchus will just get pissed off.