Category — Parenting

A great look at parenting and marriage.

The Blogfathers Blog Archive » Things I’ve learned about parenting and marriage - Dads You Can’t Refuse

The other night was a school night and Mommy Bacchus was working late, which caused me to balance the kids, dinner and bath time on my own. Which is what most of us “Super” parents do every evening, but I paid attention to the lateness it took me to finally sit down and catch my breath. 10:45 pm was the time and I still had a couple of hours of things to do and should have been getting ready for bed during at that time. In those brief few minutes of solitude I reflected on how our lives changed when we had kids. So you know what that means…..I made a list.

Things that change when you have kids:

• You rate restaurants on the cleanliness of the bathrooms and availability of a decent changing station.
• You watch movies on Pay Per View or DVD
• You watch the Academy Awards show without seeing any of the top movie contenders
• You don’t mind going to work with spit up stains on your clothes
• Of course, say goodbye to sleeping in on the weekends, weekdays, vacation days, sick days…..
• You accept that your house is in a constant mess
• You shop at Sam’s/Costco/Walmart weekly
• You actually run out of bread and milk before it goes bad
• Lastly, after having a newborn, you learn to sleep during work conf calls and put the phone on mute so they don’t hear you snoring.

Feel free to add any of your own…..

We had wind damage to our house where our fence is a wreck, a broken window and roof damage. Thank God no one was hurt.

I love watching my oldest run into his school after a drop him off.  So full of excitement and wonder.

I love you infant crawling on top of me when I lay on the floor to watch TV.  He must think I am a mountain that needs to be conquered.

We had another bad storm last night and the weather sirens went off.  We huddled in the master bedroom walk-in closet until it passed. The second storm caused me to review my home-made emergency kit I leave in the closet.

• crackers
• bottled water
• weather radio
• first aid kit
• candy
• baby snacks
• dry cereal in a zip lock bag
• wash cloth and small towel

I picked these ideas up from other disaster resources and put all of it in a old paint bucket that has a lid.  If you are in a true disaster and can’t get out of your safety place, someone in the family will need to use the bathroom and a bucket with a lid is a lifesaver.

This is an interesting article discussing the portrayal of Black Fathers in advertising.

Fathers & Families Blog » Blog Archive » Black Fathers in the Media (Part II)

Almost three weeks ago I was driving to work and was listening to the radio. I song came on and my head started bobbing and my foot started tapping. In other words, I was jamming. An old favorite of mine was playing and I just couldn’t get enough. I knew that I needed to download it from iTunes as soon as I got in the office.

Pulled into the corporate parking lot, got my briefcase and couldn’t remember the song.

Couldn’t remember the tune, the beat, the words, nothing……

I sometimes call my work voicemail and leave a message if I want to remember something, but this song was so good how could I forget.

Easy, It’s the parent factor.

Ever since having kids I easily forget some of the simplest things…..

This memory lapse bothered me the rest of the day and moved into weeks.

This really started to bother me because since it was an older song, chances were that it would be a long time before I hear it again.

Finnally………after three weeks I heard it again last night.

Young MC—Bust A Move

Thank God!!!!!

Now if I can just remember my password for iTunes.

To borrow from African American Dad, I am

“One good black father among many”

Every once in a while I run across another good Black Father and it is quite refreshing to see and experience. I have always felt that a key to raising our sons starts with an involved father to teach and show them how to be men. If we had more black men involved with mentoring, tutoring, and parenting, then our communities will grow and develop. So I call on any man (not necessarily a father) to consider involving themselves with a black male. It could even be a relative, but attempt to do something. Although LL Cool J’s plan below is well intended, it is up to us to raise our sons not for them to come to us for help.

LL Cool J Calls On Young Blacks To Seek Out Father Figures - The Elements

See the results of a Swedish study to further emphasize the need for involvement.

Voice Online :: Black boys need their fathers

So what am I doing?

Starting at home with my two sons, but I do have nephews that need guidance, but they live out of state. They come to Dallas in the summer and we try to spend as much time with them as we can.  Beyond that, I need to get with a local school and start tutoring.  That’s a promise to myself to do my part.

Sharp Dressed Family

Originally uploaded by Ed Bacchus
This is my favorite picture of my dad, grandfather, grandmother, aunt and uncle. There is something special about black and white family portraits. Especially when they have their “Sunday Best” on and take it in their own home.

I admin a flickr group called Black Families. The strength of the black family is important to me and I love to see families posing together.

Yes, my oldest son has found his calling. I am now rest assured that my retirement can start immediately. To say the least, this rhyming talent has Mommy Bacchus horrified, and I have been admonished for encouraging such behavior. Her real issue is that he sometimes uses inappropriate words that can make first-time listeners uncomfortable. I say that parental encouragement with obvious talents can only help a child achieve success in other endeavors. Plus, with a little practice and training and (we) could win a Grammy.

See his latest work and you be the judge.

Boomp Boomp, Chalk;
Da Boomp Boomp, Chalk
Wash your hands,
Wash your hands,
Wash your stinky underpants…..
Boomp Boomp, Chalk,
Da Boomp, Boomp, Chalk

Repeat Chorus: over and over until you drive Mommy Bacchus crazy.

Look out Jay Z, BJ from Dallas, is coming at ya.

The winter months usually has my skin feeling like a brown paper bag in the mornings. For years I have searched for a more affordable solution that has an acceptable smell and convenient to purchase. Because my skin gets so dried out during the winter I am usually forced to purchase an expense over the counter moisturizing product that is hard to find. The one sure thing I have used is the bath and body works body cream products but that works well for the wife and kids but the scents don’t go well with my personality, if you know what I mean. Plus paying $ 12 for 8 oz of a product.

Last year I ran across a new Gold Bond product that came in a small travel-like container that I used primarily for my dry hands. Once they came out with a larger version of 14 oz for body use I was sold. No more dry skin in the morning and I still use it for my hands. I have shared it’s use with friends and some men use it after shaving as an alternative to after shave balm. My oldest son uses it for his dry skin and the wife looks for it when she runs out of her products. Overall its a product I highly recommend and suggest its use. It can be found at any drug store or discount super store. You may have trouble finding it so look on the top and bottom shelves.

Good Luck my fellow dry skin people.

Or should I ask, do you know where the closest public library is? I have to admit that it's been years since I walked into a public library, but that's all changed for me now.

Ok, your a parent with a school aged child and you have never taken them to the library.  Shame on all of us for not utilizing this vast resource that costs nothing for admission.   Although BJ (Bacchus Junior) has taken trips to the library with his pre-school, he and I have never gone together until recently. Since I love bookstores and had forgotten how much I enjoyed the library as a kid, it was time for me to get back that excitement I used to have.  When I was in middle-school, the library to me was like the internet is to most kids today.  You could find whatever you wanted and then some, on any topic you could think of.  There were maps, movies, pictures, art displays, puppet shows and all kinds of things happening at the local library in my neighborhood.  Some how the public library has lost its appeal and probably needs a good PR person to pump up the image. 

During the Christmas holidays, BJ and I visited our local library several times and now we go about every two weeks. Since I was staying home with him during the school break, I needed a list of things to do during the day besides watch TV and movies (See my list of things to do with your child on a rainy day ).  It took a couple of visits to get used to where everything was and what sections BJ likes to visit first, but now he goes directly to his beginner reading section and immediately asks me how books can he get.  I take my place at one of the catalog computers (yes, I remember having to use the card catalog system) and search for books that I or BJ may be interested in.  By the time I'm finished searching, he has brought a pile of books to the table and we go sit somewhere and I review which ones are appropriate for his reading level.  I usually tell him he can get pick three books out and allow him to talk me into a fourth.  I have been working on teaching him how to make persuasive arguments so this part of the conversation is very important to us.  If he makes a good case for a book that is obviously above his reading level, I allow him to obtain another one. In his argument he usually points out the pictures or content that make the book a good candidate.

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